well i did like... genuinely thought it was pretty cool. very short, not so sweet, but straight to the point. Ha. But lately I realized, or I am finally admitting, I put that because... I really don't know how I am haha, so it's like... you really have to figure it out... because I am also figuring out. Yup. Haha lame.
So I watched 3 movies in 2 days. Very contented :)
Boku no Hatsukoi wo Kimi ni Sasagu was sad like mad. Hmm. Okay not exactly. It was sad. I was sad. I mean I was feeling sad so I guess thats why I cried at totally irrelevant parts. Irrelevant as in... they weren't even tear-jerking. So it was me. Aiya always me.
I have become stupid lately. Wednesday night was terrible, felt like I was stabbed hahahaha what the shiz.
But in a way I'm not all that stupid. Since I realized that I've been stupid so that makes me smart again, or smarter. You know? You're really stupid when you don't realize you're stupid. That is eh, stupid stupid. But when you realize you've been stupid, and reflect about your stupidity, no, you're actually smart. That's smart stupid. I make sense. I really do, I swear. hahaha. read it like, 10 times and each time slower than the previous. Finally you will understand.
Honestly right, I don't think I'm moving on. Hahaha.
Is this the numb feeling? shizzz I don't know man.
I had that feeling.
Had.
Cos now, if that's the case, then fine... it's a pity I am no longer important to you anymore but it's okay, I don't need that cos if you actually feel this way then... perhaps you're not worthy of me.
So there's nothing to be sad about.
Yup, everything easier said than done. I know.
okay what the hell.
Anyway I also watched Kimi ni Todoke~~~~~~~ whee~~~~ a very pure love and friendship movie hehehehe we need these once in a while. I am eighteen.
and the song is awesome because flumpool is awesome :)
the movie is double the cute and double the sweetness because Haruma is the lead hahahaha
just... "heeheeheeheehee" ^_^ - this emoticon is not enough to express my bliss. hehe.
and today I watched 'Bandage' too. Finally. Yes. I remember it was showing on Jan 16 2010 and I left Tokyo on Jan 14. Life's like that. hahaha
So the story of the movie eh... okay I honestly feel musicians are the most emo people on earth. Or to be specific, rock musicians. I don't even know what to call them. Anyway yes they make me feel very bleak and dull and sad. And a bit mad at the same time. That kind of, "i am so depressed this depression is driving me crazy". hahaha k no lah, not that bad. Hmm. But it did made me contemplate about life, hahaha. But of course my intention to watch this was to spazz over Jin. and Lands. Damnnnnn I really love their music.
So about the contemplation... hmm, not that much lah, but it was enough content.
I had the, "ah, this is life" feeling. HAHAHA i don't even know what the hell.
Because eh, usually after every movie, I kinda will want to think of something to takeaway from the movie haha. 'Boku no Hatsukoi wo Kimi ni Sasagu', it just very much reminded me of D so I was very sad the whole time while watching it zzzzzzzz. But okay, in the midst of drifting off and crying over my own memories I had with D (bloody stupid, by the way. why do i.... when...............'no more feelings' *(!@&*!^#@&^#) okay. okay. okay. i was saying, while feeling sad and sorry about myself (ARGH), I did felt the sweetness of loving just one person your entire life, and thats it, he is the love of your life and you will also be the love of his life. of course it is not happening to me now. I mean I did thought it would happen to me. okay shut up.
'Kimi ni Todoke' was plain sweet. It is too pure to give me any... 'directions to life' hahahah. okay kidding. I felt something. I just really.... felt like, "omg can Haruma please appear in my life for real????" hahaha yup, fangirl mode was on.
then Bandage.
the songs very sad leh haha.
I can't find a good video/audio of 'Genki' online ):
Hatachi no Sensou... I remember sending it to you. okay.... oops.
anyway all these on loop once again :)
-
On Thursday, I spent 2 hours of my afternoon writing a letter - 3/4 in Japanese. All ready to be snail-mailed, but I couldn't find the stamp. Don't know why but I sent a text, then after 10 mins... I was regretting everything. Kept the letter in my drawer and decides (not decided cos now am still deciding) to pretend it doesn't exist. Don't know when I'll post it. Don't even know when I will want to send it. Because.... I don't know man. Omg I really don't know. I have no stamp anyway.
"Fated." like you said it. (@&#*^&!*@&
"why did i write this?"
"..................................................????????????"
my answer has more question marks than my question.
Mm hmm.
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