The "........" in ".......??????" represents eh silence? Hmm. Contemplation? Haha. Like you're in deep thoughts for a while, okay don't have to be deep. But there's a thought forming... Slowly slowly... Like, dum dum dum.... (hahaha) and suddenly ?????? appears cos you don't know why the hell you're thinking that thought? And if it's "?!?!?!?!" means in the midst of your doubt about the thought you had, you're also confused and a little panicky. Not to the extent of being paranoid.
Hahahahahaha I am full of nonsense lately.
I really want to write a book haha. I even thought of the name.....hahaha better shut up.
Aiya.
Oh ya death. Eh. No la I'm not depressed. I'm quite happy sometimes haha. No it's just that earlier on I suddenly drifted into my own thoughts & thought about the people who would attend my funeral. The people that would cry or laugh or be so sad they're at a loss of any emotions. And how it'd be like, how I would have died, how I would have been like before I die.. The people that would be around me..and the person that would kiss my hand while holding it so gently.
I am a freak.
All the fault of the very lame people who posted this kinda stuff on their Facebook/twitter. If you really, honestly, want to contemplate about life & reflect... Go talk to God. Or your parents. Or your soul mate. Or your dog. Or your soft toy you hug to sleep every night.
You know.
-_-
And also because yesterday at Vivocity with Bud, this lady from a baptist church approached and asked, "Where do you think you'll go when you die?", "If you go to heaven, what do you think it was the thing that allowed you to be in heaven?", "Do you want to hear the truth about your afterlife & having eternal life?" (yeah something along these lines)
Okay honestly I was already very turned off when I knew where they were from. Hahahaha sorry, after 10 years in Methodist school, after 4 years of meeting ridiculous Christians (sorry maybe I was just unlucky haha) who forces you to believe their belief... I cannot bring myself to sit down so patiently to hear you speak to me about your...encounter with God. Okay I know you mean well. Maybe. But yknow, monks don't go around asking people to listen to them chant, or speak about Buddha. GET IT?!?!?!?!
Oh myyyyy.
Anyway I was very polite because that was what papa and mama taught me to, and the rational way to react so... I kindly told her I'm not interested & preached to her instead HAHAHA whaaat. So in the end she was taken aback and didn't waste time praying for me like how the other 2 did to Bud hahahahaha. But hearing from Bud, if the other 2 talked to me instead I think we'll end up arguing. Or debating. Or smth like that. I would probably want to cut her face. Hahaha kidding.
Anyway I am also always amazed how they can be so patient with kids like us who just refuses to listen haha.
In a way I am thankful I attended 10 years of chapel, with the last 4, or 2 years being really attentive.. That I became so affirmed that I wont be a follower.
Oh the irony, ya.
:)
Anyway also... Her questions were just really odd to me, I think I had the -_^ face hahaha oops.
Okay la it is honestly very comforting to carry that belief that you'll be safe and peaceful in heaven when you die, as you live. But in a way right.. I feel a bit childish to say this but, is it that important ah hahaha. Unless we really know what will happen when we die? Oh gosh. Okay maybe tomorrow I may die, nobody knows right. So... I DON'T KNOW MAN, WHY YOU ASK ME WHERE I WILL BE WHEN I DIE I REALLY DON'T KNOW, DO YOU KNOW??? NO YOU DON'T KNOW TOO WHAT! IF I THINK ABOUT WHAT WILL HAPPEN WHEN I DIE, WHERE I WILL BE WHEN I DIE, I DON'T NEED TO LIVE ALREADY, I TELL YOU!!!
DEATH IS NOT THE OPPOSITE OF LIFE, IT IS PART OF LIFE YES I KNOW, BUT IF WE THINK ABOUT DEATH THE WHOLE DAY WE WILL REALLY DIE.
...
Okay shh. It was a good talk. Hahaha. Goodnight.
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