spent the last day of 2012 doing some cycling-in-the-rain with nellyn aha. not a bad day, despite the rain and...more rain.
spending the new year's eve night cozying up at home with my gran, dad, mum, sisters, and my dog. watched 'the day after tomorrow' because i love jake gyllenhaal and dennis quaid.
2012 has been quite a crazy ride. the beginning of the ride made me felt sick in the stomach and wish i could just puke my entire soul out so all my troubles would go away too. it wasn't easy... i thought i've officially hit rock bottom before i turned 19, but i'm glad my family and friends were my cushion of comfort throughout this rough patch, and yay! i eventually found my strength back.
a while ago it still saddens me that i didn't get into my desired course in my desired university, but right now i'm only thankful that i've found my way here at sim-uol, met a bunch of great friends from lectures and council, and this last stretch of 2012 has been a good, good ride.
the last few months had been hectic, juggling between lessons and council, though most of the energy went to council... haha i'm not complaining, i'm not the only one.
finally our big day came, and we had the most meaningful and memorable xmas celebration with some 40 odd athletes from Special Olympics. i got a bit emotional during the closing when we had our singalong, i think most of us did. seeing everyone, everyone, smiling from their hearts, singing along to the fav xmas songs played through cheesy music videos, going wild dancing to gangnam style, cheering and having so much fun... it's not something anyone could experience and be able to appreciate, i just felt so blessed and grateful to have been part of it, and 29 december 2012 could easily be the best memory ever. (':
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went to beautiful Bali back in July, aahh good times. (btw i still owe my Bali posts right.... hahaha soon, soon.)
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underwent a few months of chiropractic therapy to adjust my spine and...i-dont-even-know. i've had some troubles with my neck and back before, now i'm so appreciative of the beauty of turning your head sodamnfreely. never take anything for granted. oh but i still can't bend and touch my toes HAHA forever stiff.
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had a time when my bank account had only 2 digits. i really don't know how that happened. i think if i recalled hard enough, i could remember how that happened, but hahaha, it's better not to. before i want to stab myself knowing i could have been $XXX or $XXXX richer today. ahah
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worked my longest job of 6 months at Canon, gave me a heads up of what the working world is like. it was a boring job.
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watched my first live concert of one of my favourite music bands. AAAAAAHHHHHH OK FLUMPOOL MEMORIES RUSHING BACK AAAAAAHHHHH
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oh i went to USS!
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read a lot of books (just an emphasis of how boring my job was hahahaha)
1. The Solitude of Prime Numbers by Paulo Giordano
2. My Best Friend's Girl by Dorothy Koomson
3. The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards
4. Vision in White by Nora Roberts
5. Bed of Roses by Nora Roberts
6. People Who Eat Darkness by Richard Lloyd Parry
7. The Understudy by David Nicholls
8. The Devotion of Suspect X by Keigo Higashino
9. Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami
10. Hector Finds Time by Francois Lelord
11. Freakonomics by Steven Levitt, Stephen Dubner
12. 1Q84 by Haruki Murakami (still reading)
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completed two 10km runs and one 10++km walk (lol)
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volunteered at an adventure camp for the intellectually disabled with touch community services! (':
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gossip girl has ended :(((( but i guess it was a satisfactory ending.
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aah how can i forget, singapore air show! whoop excited for rsaf open house! don't be mistaken, i do not want to join the saf, i just want to watch my favourite fighter jets teehee.
haha seems like quite an eventful year, huh!
made a lot of new friends, lost a few others, that's just how it is, isn't it? some people just.... come and go. i think i've learnt a lot about letting go... but there's still more to learn. it's not easy to say/tell when you're completely over something.. i think for the past year, if i really want to be honest with myself... sometimes it feels like i'm still struggling to convince myself that i should forget about the whole...crappy shit. ha. it's easy to tell people you're cool and okay with it, but never easy to say that to yourself. memories come back and it's sad when you think about why it went down the hell lane... and it makes you even sadder when you think, "i thought we were happy? were they not true?" yeah.......................bleh. i think it's not the person that i'm holding back and feel sorry for... yes i've come to a point where i absolutely don't feel it's a loss that he's no longer here (lol seriously, if i did feel it's a loss i know all my friends will want to kill me ha ha), i just feel sorry for all the feelings and love that i've truly put in?? like wtf how could you just ignore them. ha ha ha ha damn it, i'm just serious about everything... i can't even.....
then maybe i'll think, ok i will save all these for the next person that deserves and will appreciate it all... but then something hits you, such as the thought of, "nooooo what if the same thing happens...", and you want to just shut your heart up again. okkkk i really have not said this to anyone, i think? ha. i mean, it has been 1.5 years (wah siao time flies) and it'll be silly if i talk about it again.. cos i know i'll probably get reactions like, "WHY ARE WE STILL ON THAT TOPIC??" but you know............ it's just not as easy as an action of simply erasing it off. there'll be marks and you'll just be reminded of it. yucks.
so this is quite an honest post? ha. like finally i've decided to be honest and finally writing again. typing, again.
i have a mentality of 30 years old at the age of 19. okkkkk i didn't wish for this. i remembered i said i lost my innocence about love and maybe life, which is true, and ohgod that sucks??? wait no, not physical innocence ha ha just in case i'm being mistaken.
bleh.
ok 30 mins to 2013 i should welcome it with open arms and a light, happy heart.
and yes, my heart is a lot lighter and happier now after finaaaaaally throwing all that out. i'm okay guys, i think it's just gonna take a little more time for me to not think about all that crap. i just wish my bus to school doesn't have to go pass a place i hate most, but it's okay, it's okay, i'm cool.
2013 resolutions.
1. drink more water. idk why i just can't ever finish a bottle of 500ml water in a day.
2. exercise ha ha ha ha hahahahaha i miss playing badminton ))): today i saw my coach at the airport, the other time i dreamt of mr kim and i was crying so much in that dream... haha.
3. study, damn it!
4. save up for the script concert (!!!) birthday present to myself haha i always have excuses.
5. ok i don't really believe in resolutions because i know i forget about them after a while so i just hope i can be healthy and remember my social role(s) as a granddaughter, daughter, sister, friend and student, so the rest should just flow as it should.
have a good 2013!!!
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